“Finally, many women today are entering into motherhood in unprecedented states of isolation. Isolations breeds anxiety. “I felt at the beginning, and still feel as a new mother”, said Beverly Solow, a NeW York-based international board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), when her first child was five months old, “that the single… most difficult aspect is the isolation. To be so alone for hours and hours, in four walls – especially during the winter – when you really lose perspective on things, you lose your sense of humor, and the fatigue in being up at night just puts a strain on the whole family.”
If you are a new mother, or about to become one, has anyone told you that much of parenting is learned behavior, not – as we have been led to believe – all instinct and motherwit? That nurturers of new infants need nurturing themselves? Does your list of needed and essential things include not only cotton swabs and stretchies, but also someone to guarantee you sleep breaks, someone to listen wisely and nonjudgmentally to all your questions and feelings after the baby comes?
Instead of striving for as quick a return as possible to “normal”, perhaps you might want to tailor your postpartum wish list more specifically (and by all means, make a wish list!): Ask instead for friends with casseroles, or four hour of sleep at a clip. Ask for a broad-based cushion of support and perspective as you learn to roll with the unpredictable and mercurial. Ask for a loving and listening ear. Ask everyone – friends, family, workplace – fora way to move through this time of new motherhood securely, and openly, and at your own pace.” (pg 4-5)